Fast Food Chain Shocks Animal Rights Activists

Five years after being sued by vegetarians and practicing Hindus for hiding the fact that they coat their french fries with "beef extract," the fast food giant which shall remain nameless (although their name begins with Mc and ends with onalds) again outrages those who are sensitive to the rights of animals. An undisclosed source today confirmed that the corporate chain slaughters the animals that they use for meat in their resteraunts by beating them to death with other animals.

"Yeah, they're clubing cows to death with pigs, pigs with chickens, and chickens with large rodents like squirrels and groundhogs," reports our source. "And then they sell the rodents to fancy French restaurants."

A spokesperson for the chain commented, "We never claimed not to have slaughtered animals by pummeling them with other critters. It's a matter of efficiency. It's like killing two birds with one stone... well more like killing one chicken with two ferrets... But you get the idea."

This new revelation is bound to raise the hackles of activists everywhere. When asked to comment, a representitive of PETA said, "We really would like to do something, but my husband really likes their fries and the kids scream like holy hell until we take them to the freaking playland."

When asked whether this publicity would promt the corporation to change their habits, the spokesperson said, "Yeah right. We'll just hire a few more clowns, put another salad on the menu, and lower the price of the shakes by a nickel. That'll pacify the bastards."