Becoming an Ally: Members of the Dominant Class Working for Equality
It was Wednesday, November 5th and I was walking across campus feeling rather pleased and relieved with the election results from the previous day. A former student and now friend, I’ll call her Tina (not her real name), was standing talking to her sister in front of the campus clock tower. I walked up to them and asked if I could join their conversation, they smiled and indicated that I was welcome. They were talking about the election results, but they were not talking about the presidential race. They were talking about California’s passing of Proposition 8, which rescinded a previous Supreme Court judgment that allowed same-sex marriages between consenting adults.
It should be noted that Tina is in a committed same-sex relationship wherein her partner’s biological child considers Tina as a parent. I listened as she described how it made her feel to be denied legal rights that are afforded others. I was a bit taken aback because I had viewed the election results as a positive step forward in gaining rights for underrepresented groups only to be slapped with this new reality for my friend.
Being a straight, White male in America has its perks. The economic and cultural reality of America has favored those like me for a long time. Early in the country’s history citizenship required that you be male, white, and propertied. Women and under-represented groups, whether they were people of color or gay/lesbian, have had to fight tooth and nail to pry even the most basic of civil rights from the established White male power structure. As a member of the historically privileged class, the question becomes: Why should I become an ally to the under-represented population in America? What could I possibly gain by supporting others in breaking down my own privilege?
Much of becoming an ally for me is a question of moral imperative. From the Buddhist point of view we must strive for equanimity between self and others and not prioritize our own welfare as first. In fact, most religious beliefs have as their foundation an assertion of compassion for people who have less than we do. Working to gain everyone the same basic rights and responsibilities that are afforded me is then a function of morality.
But I also have a selfish interest in mind when I advocate for equal rights and privilege for everyone. I am a firm believer that peace, whether it is with foreign countries or within our own borders, can never be achieved as long as some people seek to dominate others. The idea of domination implies a struggle in which those dominated fight to break free and gain equality with those who oppress them. Therefore if I am ever going to live in a peaceful world, I must advocate for equal rights for everyone. I will sacrifice privilege for peace gladly. Therefore I am motivated to work towards social justice for both the welfare of others and for my own selfish desire to live in peace.
Supporting people in their efforts is no minor task. But before you can aid someone else, you must first be comfortable with yourself, your cultural heritage, and sexuality. If you are conflicted about your own identity as it relates to others’ culture, it becomes very difficult to understand the animosity people may have for you as an outsider and you may become defensive or even embarrassed by your own background. Therefore it is essential that Straight, White people understand that our cultural heritage or race has a definite impact on how we see the world. This understanding of our own worldview will help us understand that the worldview of others’ is also colored by their cultural heritage and sexuality.
It is important to realize elevating another person’s status is not demeaning to your own. Acknowledging the facts of oppression in order to try to minimize it only serves to raise everyone to the same level. You do not have to give up your own civil liberties and heritage in order to gain someone else rights and validate their experience and culture.
One of the difficulties in becoming a White ally to people of color and other historically oppressed groups is defining the role we can play within the struggle. “People of color will always be on the front lines fighting racism because their lives are at stake” (Kivel, 2002, p. 97). However, as the group that has historically diminished and demeaned others, White people can play an important role in helping people of color and other oppressed groups gain equality. Stuart F. Chen-Hayes makes the point that when oppression is challenged from within it serves to strengthen the argument against oppression and facilitate change in the system that perpetuates it. “Oppressors, as allies against oppression, are urged to use their privilege and power to challenge other oppressors in their own cultural groups for lasting systemic change in schools and families” (Kumashiro, 2001, p. 66).
It is important to listen critically to the dialog of culture. Just as it is not true that your group is always right and the other group is always wrong, it is also not true that everything a person of color says about racism is always true. Listening critically to others’ opinions and expressing your own view in an honest, caring way serves to validate the dialog, whereas simply pandering to the opinions of people invalidates it. Validating the opinions of people, without patronizing or pandering, serves to empower them regardless of circumstance. And if the persons within the dialog are of historically diametrically opposed groups, validation serves to build trust.
Listening with compassion will also go a long way in building trust as well as forging alliances and strengthening friendships. Sometimes action is not what the person who has been hurt by bias needs. Sometimes he or she just needs to be heard and acknowledged.
The day after my encounter with Tina and her sister, I took time from my office hour to go out and look for Tina. I found her in the cafeteria, stopped her and told her that I had been thinking a lot about our conversation the day before. I told her that I felt lucky to know her because her friendship helped me to understand the reality of the impact of legislation such as Proposition 8. I let her know that the feeling of helplessness not to be able to do something for her angered me. And how I wished that those who supported the measure could feel what I was feeling for my friend. I think it was then that I realized what becoming an ally was really all about.
References
Kivel, P. (2002). Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice. Gabriola Island, B.C.: New Society Publishers.
Kumashiro K. K. ed. (2001). Troubling Intersections of Race and Sexuality: Queer Students of Color and Anti-oppressive Education. Lanham MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
It should be noted that Tina is in a committed same-sex relationship wherein her partner’s biological child considers Tina as a parent. I listened as she described how it made her feel to be denied legal rights that are afforded others. I was a bit taken aback because I had viewed the election results as a positive step forward in gaining rights for underrepresented groups only to be slapped with this new reality for my friend.
Being a straight, White male in America has its perks. The economic and cultural reality of America has favored those like me for a long time. Early in the country’s history citizenship required that you be male, white, and propertied. Women and under-represented groups, whether they were people of color or gay/lesbian, have had to fight tooth and nail to pry even the most basic of civil rights from the established White male power structure. As a member of the historically privileged class, the question becomes: Why should I become an ally to the under-represented population in America? What could I possibly gain by supporting others in breaking down my own privilege?
Much of becoming an ally for me is a question of moral imperative. From the Buddhist point of view we must strive for equanimity between self and others and not prioritize our own welfare as first. In fact, most religious beliefs have as their foundation an assertion of compassion for people who have less than we do. Working to gain everyone the same basic rights and responsibilities that are afforded me is then a function of morality.
But I also have a selfish interest in mind when I advocate for equal rights and privilege for everyone. I am a firm believer that peace, whether it is with foreign countries or within our own borders, can never be achieved as long as some people seek to dominate others. The idea of domination implies a struggle in which those dominated fight to break free and gain equality with those who oppress them. Therefore if I am ever going to live in a peaceful world, I must advocate for equal rights for everyone. I will sacrifice privilege for peace gladly. Therefore I am motivated to work towards social justice for both the welfare of others and for my own selfish desire to live in peace.
Supporting people in their efforts is no minor task. But before you can aid someone else, you must first be comfortable with yourself, your cultural heritage, and sexuality. If you are conflicted about your own identity as it relates to others’ culture, it becomes very difficult to understand the animosity people may have for you as an outsider and you may become defensive or even embarrassed by your own background. Therefore it is essential that Straight, White people understand that our cultural heritage or race has a definite impact on how we see the world. This understanding of our own worldview will help us understand that the worldview of others’ is also colored by their cultural heritage and sexuality.
It is important to realize elevating another person’s status is not demeaning to your own. Acknowledging the facts of oppression in order to try to minimize it only serves to raise everyone to the same level. You do not have to give up your own civil liberties and heritage in order to gain someone else rights and validate their experience and culture.
One of the difficulties in becoming a White ally to people of color and other historically oppressed groups is defining the role we can play within the struggle. “People of color will always be on the front lines fighting racism because their lives are at stake” (Kivel, 2002, p. 97). However, as the group that has historically diminished and demeaned others, White people can play an important role in helping people of color and other oppressed groups gain equality. Stuart F. Chen-Hayes makes the point that when oppression is challenged from within it serves to strengthen the argument against oppression and facilitate change in the system that perpetuates it. “Oppressors, as allies against oppression, are urged to use their privilege and power to challenge other oppressors in their own cultural groups for lasting systemic change in schools and families” (Kumashiro, 2001, p. 66).
It is important to listen critically to the dialog of culture. Just as it is not true that your group is always right and the other group is always wrong, it is also not true that everything a person of color says about racism is always true. Listening critically to others’ opinions and expressing your own view in an honest, caring way serves to validate the dialog, whereas simply pandering to the opinions of people invalidates it. Validating the opinions of people, without patronizing or pandering, serves to empower them regardless of circumstance. And if the persons within the dialog are of historically diametrically opposed groups, validation serves to build trust.
Listening with compassion will also go a long way in building trust as well as forging alliances and strengthening friendships. Sometimes action is not what the person who has been hurt by bias needs. Sometimes he or she just needs to be heard and acknowledged.
The day after my encounter with Tina and her sister, I took time from my office hour to go out and look for Tina. I found her in the cafeteria, stopped her and told her that I had been thinking a lot about our conversation the day before. I told her that I felt lucky to know her because her friendship helped me to understand the reality of the impact of legislation such as Proposition 8. I let her know that the feeling of helplessness not to be able to do something for her angered me. And how I wished that those who supported the measure could feel what I was feeling for my friend. I think it was then that I realized what becoming an ally was really all about.
References
Kivel, P. (2002). Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice. Gabriola Island, B.C.: New Society Publishers.
Kumashiro K. K. ed. (2001). Troubling Intersections of Race and Sexuality: Queer Students of Color and Anti-oppressive Education. Lanham MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
posted by Mark at
3:39 PM
1 Comments:
I was shocked when I heard about Prop 8 being passed in California. CALIFORNIA of all places. The state that to me, always seemed so far ahead of the the rest of the country in so many ways. What a huge setback for the entire country. Shame on them.
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