George W. Denies "Big Brother" Accusations

Today George W. responding to accusations that eavesdropping on American citizens' phone conversations could be called "Big Brother" government tactics said, "That's crazy talk." He continued saying, "It's not like a big brother, who'll push your face down in the mud and make you eat grass until you start crying and then laugh at you when you pee your pants in fear. It's not like that at all, I would know."

When asked what it was like, W commented that "it's more like your mama. You know how she's always watching you. You know, to protect you. Keep you from doing stupid stuff. Like when you spend too much time in the bathroom and she bangs on the door yelling 'George, what the hell are you doing in there so long?' It's more like that. And I'm here to tell you, I might still be in that bathroom if it weren't for mama; and the Secret Service, they kind of took up where mama left off. But... What was I talking about?"

Now that the media has pretty much forgotten about George's "peek-a-boo, I hear you" policy, George can now head back into the bathroom in peace. Because it seems that the press gets tired of pounding on the door and asking what the hell he is doing in there. After all he's in there an awful lot.