Emptiness

The concept of emptiness is a basic tenant for all schools of Buddhism. I practice Vajrayana Buddhism which literally translated means “diamond path” and encompasses both Hinayana (Theravada) and Mahayana schools. However, I was not able to put all of the different concepts and teachings together until recently.

The idea of emptiness is what first drew me to Buddhism. The basic notion of emptiness is that things and events have no objective meaning. That is to say, the observer projects meaning onto phenomenon and so creates his or her reality. This is not to say that things and events do not exist at all (a nihilistic viewpoint), but rather they do not exist as we think they do. In fact the mind creates meaning and so creates our reality. My explanation here is brief and quite shallow but you get the idea. The concept of emptiness is incredibly deep and takes a lot of study and meditation to fully understand.

What had eluded me for some reason was why an intuitive understanding of emptiness is so important. The idea is really very simple: If our mind creates reality, when we transform our mind we change reality. Instead of things and events becoming a source of suffering, we can transform them with our minds to become a source of enlightenment. Now do not get me wrong, this kind of transformation takes an incredible amount of effort. But my point is, I guess if I have one, is that for the first time in my studies and meditation, I truly understand both intellectually and intuitively, that it is possible to achieve that ultimate goal of enlightenment for the sake of self and others.

Blessings

Date: June 30, 2008 8:04 AM
Mood: Optimistic

Writers' Block

I recently went through about three months where I could write nothing coherent. Granted my energy was being sucked into personal life changes but still you would think that these emotional upheavals would be great fodder for songs.

I think the problem was that I was using the same method or style of writing during the stressful times as in calmer times. To put it another way; my writing was not in line with my emotional state.

I decided to go backwards for me and write straight poetry and not songs. To begin, I read poetry, something that I had not done for awhile. Very quickly I was to be able to write some poems (although I make no claims to quality) and soon songs began to come out again.

I am not saying that poetry is a lesser form by any means, but in my life the progression went from poetry to songwriting. I found that by mimicking that progression on a minor scale I was able to break out of my writers’ block.

Date: June 29, 2008 11:02 AM
Mood: Hot and tired

A New Motivation

I am diabetic. Type two. My doctor and I have it pretty well under control. In fact he told me this last week that my latest average blood sugar was nearly non-diabetic. The problem is that it is being controlled by drugs and as of the latest addition of Actos will now cost me around $200 per month. This is unacceptable to me.

Type two is very weight sensitive. I weigh less now than I ever have in my adult life. 277.5 lbs as of this morning. Before you say, “holy shit fatass,” you should know that I am 6’ 4“ and large framed. My ideal weight would be between 200 and 220 pounds. None of the other motivations have helped me lose weight, perhaps drug dependancy and the loss of cash every month will be the motivational straw on this camel’s back. From now on every time I put something in my mouth I will think about how it is killing me financially an what I could be doing with that money. I like doing fun stuff with my money, so it might just work.

I’ll let you know.

Date: June 28, 2008 7:37 AM
Mood: Oddly content and restless
Weight: 277.5