Tony Snow

So Bush has appointed Tony Snow as press secretary.

This gives new meaning to the phrase "Snow job."

Which coincidentally rhymes with blow job.

Which for this administration, seems somehow appropriate.

Time

My friend Airyn said while in a sleepy mood:

"We humans measure time - it's what we do. We mark our lives by minutes, hours, days and so forth. Generally, I think we experience the world on a "minute level." Obviously, that varies from person to person, but as I talk to people about time perception, many are most aware of the passage of minutes - they think about minutes the most. Some think about hours the most. I think I'm a Minute Person. We all branch out, of course, thinking about days and weeks ahead, but it seems like most of us tend to think about our experiences in terms of minute-by-minute."

Which is funny because I was thinking about posting something about time from the Buddhist perspective. So synchronicity being what it is I'll go ahead and spew forth on the subject of time.

I find it interesting that Airyn expounds about how we perceive time in incremental units in accordance to the situation at hand (see her journal for the whole discourse). I find it interesting because, from the Buddhist perspective, time is not the continuum that it appears to be.

It is said that yogis in deep states of meditative absorption perceive time as discrete moments of incredibly short duration. Kind of like the frames of a movie. When the movie is viewed from an audience perspective it seems very fluid and continual. But when you turn around and look at the projector you can see the frames flying by. And as you focus your concentration on the projector, you can glimpse the individual frames as they pass.

This is one way to look at meditation.

Your mind is the projector. And as your meditation becomes more focused, it is possible to see the discrete moments that make up your thoughts and feelings. It is then possible to perceive that each moment of every thought, feeling, and sensation is an effect that has a cause. The conditioning of our minds that dictate this cause and effect relationship is one aspect of karma.

An interesting consequence of this quality of time is the idea that time can be viewed in the same manner as points in three-space. Just as the three dimensional Cartesian coordinate system can be viewed as a locus of points in the form of (x,y,z) and it is possible for us to move freely (relatively so anyway) between these points, because of the discrete nature of time, it should be possible to move freely in the four-space of (x,y,z,t). t of course, being time.

In fact, it is said that because the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas have cleansed their minds of delusion, and can see directly the nature of time, they can move freely through time. And when you are working to help ease the suffering of all sentient beings, this is a very useful ability to have.

So perhaps when Airyn is on her motorcycle and experiencing time in shorter discrete moments than is usual for her, she is coming closer to perceiving the nature of time.

George W. Denies "Big Brother" Accusations

Today George W. responding to accusations that eavesdropping on American citizens' phone conversations could be called "Big Brother" government tactics said, "That's crazy talk." He continued saying, "It's not like a big brother, who'll push your face down in the mud and make you eat grass until you start crying and then laugh at you when you pee your pants in fear. It's not like that at all, I would know."

When asked what it was like, W commented that "it's more like your mama. You know how she's always watching you. You know, to protect you. Keep you from doing stupid stuff. Like when you spend too much time in the bathroom and she bangs on the door yelling 'George, what the hell are you doing in there so long?' It's more like that. And I'm here to tell you, I might still be in that bathroom if it weren't for mama; and the Secret Service, they kind of took up where mama left off. But... What was I talking about?"

Now that the media has pretty much forgotten about George's "peek-a-boo, I hear you" policy, George can now head back into the bathroom in peace. Because it seems that the press gets tired of pounding on the door and asking what the hell he is doing in there. After all he's in there an awful lot.

Bullshit, Popcorn, and Frisbee Salad

Welcome to the University of Washing! The place where dry cleaners, car washers and rug shampooers go to learn their craft. Yes, I am persuing a advanced degree in bullshit removal. Some folks may say these courses are, in my case, self help. But I am trying to learn how to first detect bullshit, and then cut through it. And in America, let me tell you, it is a 24 hour a day job.

Anyway, it was a nice day so before class I walked down the street to the popcorn place and bought some popcorn. For some reason, today they put it in a box. Now this may seem a little trivial to you, but it bothered me a little that it wasn't in a bag like it usually is. And it didn't bother me for any other reason than I like the way the bag feels in my hand. It's a tactile thing, and yes, didn't I say that it was trivial. The content was fine if not a little too buttery (but I asked for it that way). The box just did not feel right. Strange.

Okay, there were two guys playing with a Frisbee. They were pretty pathetic at it. More than a few bypassers had to duck as the disk whizzed by their heads. Now for a quiz. What two physical qualities of a Frisbee allow it to fly? This quiz is worth 10 points.

I did share my greasy treat with a new friend. His name is Walter. He did not complain that there was too much butter or that the box felt funny (he never actually held the box but I'm sure he would not have complained if he had). He just pecked the popcorn off of the ground.
Wow, this has been a pretty useless post. But hey you're the one who wasted your time reading it.

Washington Mutual

Okay. Has anyone seen these Washington Mutual commercials where a young African American guy has a bunch of old white guys in a pen and rewards them by feeding them champagne and caviar?

What if ol' Wa Mu (as they seem to want to be called) put out a commercial where a young white guy was holding some old African American men in a pen and rewarding them with fried chicken and watermelon?

Would it still be funny?

Racism and intolerance swings both ways.

Holy shit!

A suicide bomber struck Tel Aviv today. This being tragic in and of itself is newsworthy but what is really shocking is Israel's official statement regarding the bombing. A spokesman for the Israeli government said that the bombing is understandable because of the increased violence towards Palestine.

Again I say, holy shit!

Is a country so closely aligned with the U.S. actually taking responsibility for the cycle of violence? Is someone actually standing up and saying that yes we have perpetrated violent acts and so should expect violence in return?

Seems hard to believe.

When 9/11 happened, after the initial shock and grief wore off, I wondered what it was that the U.S. could have done to piss these people off so badly that they felt the need to crash planes into our buildings. I do not understand people who believe that U.S. policy is golden and that we never do anything that may be considered out of line by others. We need to question our own actions as well as other's.

Don't get me wrong, I do not in any way condone violence of any sort, but to blindly believe that we are innocent victims and that U.S. policy did not in any way provoke an attack is terribly naive.

We need to take responsibility for the things that happen to us.

But we are a nation of victims.

Whether we are being attacked by terrorists or spilling hot coffee in our laps, nothing that happens to us seems to be our fault. Where does this cultural attitude that nothing is our responsibility come from? Personally I think it comes from the Judea-Christian belief that the devil is working to undermine our lives and that god does shit to us that is beyond our control or understanding. Once you believe that shit happens to you that you aren't directly responsible for, well there you have it. Blame everyone and everything else for your problems. And if no one is readily available for blame, use god.

We blame god for hurricanes, earthquakes, famine, floods, aids and everything else that tries to wipe us from the planet. And when god does these things, he does it because of the heathen abortionists and faggots. So I guess even god blames someone else. In god we trust? I don't think so pal. Any god that is that cruel and intolerant is undeserving of my trust and can kiss my ass.

But what of these crazy Israelis that think that they may have, at least in part, brought on their own suffering. Well the U.S. has officially denounced this proclamation of responsibility in the same breath as they denounced the terrorists.

And in the end, we are right and everyone else is wrong.

As if we could accept anything less.

Has anyone else noticed this?

I hesitated to post this because it is blatantly disrespectful. But I think Alfred will forgive me.

Fast Food Chain Shocks Animal Rights Activists

Five years after being sued by vegetarians and practicing Hindus for hiding the fact that they coat their french fries with "beef extract," the fast food giant which shall remain nameless (although their name begins with Mc and ends with onalds) again outrages those who are sensitive to the rights of animals. An undisclosed source today confirmed that the corporate chain slaughters the animals that they use for meat in their resteraunts by beating them to death with other animals.

"Yeah, they're clubing cows to death with pigs, pigs with chickens, and chickens with large rodents like squirrels and groundhogs," reports our source. "And then they sell the rodents to fancy French restaurants."

A spokesperson for the chain commented, "We never claimed not to have slaughtered animals by pummeling them with other critters. It's a matter of efficiency. It's like killing two birds with one stone... well more like killing one chicken with two ferrets... But you get the idea."

This new revelation is bound to raise the hackles of activists everywhere. When asked to comment, a representitive of PETA said, "We really would like to do something, but my husband really likes their fries and the kids scream like holy hell until we take them to the freaking playland."

When asked whether this publicity would promt the corporation to change their habits, the spokesperson said, "Yeah right. We'll just hire a few more clowns, put another salad on the menu, and lower the price of the shakes by a nickel. That'll pacify the bastards."

Thoughts

I smiled and said “words are not thought.”

Thoughts are eagles soaring freely in the crystal blue sky of the mind.
Without boundaries,
Gliding effortlessly.

Words are the cages we use to capture our thoughts so that we may display them to others.
But in doing so
We change their nature.

And I smiled and said, “language is not thought.”

Thought is the water that flows freely over the smooth stones of the mind.
When the water is clear
You can see the stones.

Language is a damn that we erect in order to harness the power of thought.
But in doing so
We change its nature.

And I smiled and said “thought is not thought.”

The moment we say to ourselves “this is a thought” we have plucked it from the sky,
Caged it in our words.
We have changed its nature.

The moment we try to define our thoughts with language, it distorts their natural flow,
Muddies the water.
We have changed its nature.

And I smiled and said nothing.

Daylight Savings Time

Where is all this daylight I'm supposed to be saving? I don't get any more daylight. As a matter of fact I lose daylight, takes an hour longer for it to reach me. It should be called Getting-your-ass-out-of-bed-an-hour-earlier Time. I'm not gonna feel right until I get my hour back next Fall. This sucks.

Yeah, yeah, time is a construct of mind... I don't want to hear it.